The Cyber Kazbá

Being the procrastinator that I am, I put off everything that is important. This would include things pertaining to my wedding. Particularly the legal issues that surround it. Coming from a foreign land it isn't as easy to line up all the legal paperwork as it would be doing it in the homeland. So about 5 weeks before the wedding I find out that I need a special piece of paperwork called an apostille. This is a legal certification that attaches to the birth certificate (BC) and certifies it as legal document. I suppose to make sure there aren't any fake BCs going around.

The problem was that I had my BC but could only get the apostille in the USA. After some help from the family I found out I could just mail it in and the Secretary of State would mail it back to me. No problem right? I just send in my BC and get it back in about 2 weeks time leaving me 3 weeks of breathing room. Well... there was a problem. I sent my BC and it never arrived!

Now of course I am getting nervous because I can't married without this document. So if I don't figure it out soon we have a serious problem on our hands. Also, I heard a very interesting story that occurred in this country that raised my suspicion about what may have happened to my BC. Here is the story:

My friend (lets call him Andy) who is American and has been living in CZ for about 3 years. One night while he was on a tram, he gets jumped and three burly dudes who take his bag containing his passport. Meanwhile, my friend has another business partner/friend (lets call him John) who is actually quite wealthy and conducting some serious business here in CZ. John was awaiting a large sum of money being transferred from Canada. The bank was giving him the runaround and telling him that the transferred never cleared. He raises a big complaint because the money should be there. Well, after about 3 weeks the man gets arrested.

Here's where the story gets weird. My friend Andy goes to the US embassy to renew his passport. He is speaking with the lady behind the counter and going through the process, and he sees his (Andy's) passport sitting there next to the woman! On top of that the woman refuses the give him a new passport! As he (Andy) is leaving she smiles and slides through the window John's passport (the man who is now in jail).

Long story short, Andy spent 3 months in CZ without a passport until one day the US ambassador himself picks up Andy from his flat and police escorts him back to the embassy and issues him a new passport. Shortly after John is released from Jail, the ambassador retires, and the bank dealing with John goes down.

So what is happening with my BC? Here is how my friend "Andy" responded when he heard my BC has gone missing:
"Due to increased conspiracies involving Czech Republic, you are now officially named Boris Rusky and you have 5 mortgages 3 cars 2 business leases and 5 bankrupt hotdog stands in your name. If i were you i would lay low til the wedding!"

This had me laughing, albeit a nervous laugh.

The Good news is my mom being the hero mom that she is runs all over the Twin Cities Metro Area, gets a new BC, goes the Secretary of State's office, receives the apostille and sends it to me. Shortly after I receive it, get it translated and head to the government office. All goes smoothly there and my wedding is saved! :)

Ps. it has been approx. 22 days since I sent my BC and still hasn't arrived in USA